Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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