Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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