do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
