Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
