dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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