You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
