dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
