Nicole vs. Life
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
