my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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