turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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