he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
