Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
