Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
