I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
