I'm going to jail i love you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
