i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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