I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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