please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
