I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My ass is underappreciated
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
