pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
