she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
