Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
