i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
