That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
