I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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