I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
