You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
