she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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