Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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