If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
