you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
