Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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