So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
