drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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