Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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