You're my little dorito
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
