I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
