Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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