It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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