What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
