I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
