I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
