and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
honey bunches of taint.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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