Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
