You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
