Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
