I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
