I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
