Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
