i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
