I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
