he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
