He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
