I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
