So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
