chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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