what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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