well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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