Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
