As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
