You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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